Thursday, May 25, 2006

Typical . . .I will never change. . .

So my big thing in the morning is to get out the door in time to make it to the beloved commuter lane before it goes away. Ohhhh no, I do not like missing this opportunity to happily fly by all the sorry suckers who aren't cruel enough to stick their sweet baby in the backseat for an hour-plus so they can head off to their unpaid job with gleeful ease. Hel-looo, that's like throwing away a coupon for free diapers for a year! That said, I am constantly rushing around my house in the morning trying to get Miles and I ready (by myself, of course b/c hubby is travelling yet again) and debating whether or not to make myself that coffee that I can't live without (which takes 5 frickin' minutes because it's just GOT to be a latte). . .especially when I've stayed up late working for said unpaid job. On this harried morning I decided to go for it - roll the dice, play with fire - make. the. coffee. water. the. new. plants. before. they. die. pusssshhhhhhing it . . .the minutes tick, tick, ticking away . . .Miles happily playing with his walker just taunting me to do yet more things before I leave for the next 12 hours . . .whirl, hiss, spatter and voila! my beloved caffe latte is finito! - hmmmm, can't find my favorite commuter mug . . .ohhhhh yeah - I torched it in the microwave yesterday and almost started a fire - oooops. Who knew that you couldn't boil water in a metal/rubbery commuter mug from my husband's company??? Oh well, I'll have to use this other one - some hideously huge Starbuck's thing that will also serve the purpose of building my biceps while I drink . . .Another look at the clock reveals that it's already 8:29 - oh no! I'm in dangerous territory - must. get. in. the. car. Okay little guy, saddle up! Off we go, frothy, fabulous latte riding shotgun in the drink holder . . .cooling to a perfect blissful temp while I drive poll position over the windy highway that seperates us from the bustling Silicon Valley.
And here's the point of this long-winded blog entry - I pick up the coffee mug THINKING that I've put the lid on corrrectly . . .ah, no babe. That would be a mistaken thought. Lid NOT on right, coffee now ALL over my shirt - shit! still hot!! ouchy-ouch!
What to do now?? Ah-ha, brilliant - I have a bottle of water in the car! I'll just squirt a little dab on the stain to keep it from setting and that will dry by the time I get to my destination. . . dab being the operative word - you can guess what happened next . . .Ack! I spill water ALL over myself. I am now TOTALLY drenched with coffee and water. Fabulous. I am so talented - how did I get so talented?! I know you're wondering, how could you not? If my family reads this they will nod in agreement - this is standard behavior for me - as I said - typical.
An-nee-way - that commuter lane that I worked so hard to get to? Missed it. Gone. Nada, nada. The on-ramp to the freeway with the metering lights took soooo long that by the time I merged, it was parking lot city, and I was just another one of the sorry suckers sitting there - except that unlike those now lucky people I had my poor sweet baby in the back seat squirming to get out of bondage and, a completely wet shirt, nice.


Anonymous said...

Babe, load up the Latte machine the night before.
Hang in there!!

Karen said...

Poor Jesse, sounds like a rough morning. Karma has a way ofsettling things. I'll bet you have an exceptional day coming right up. Hang in there.

sisi said...

Hilarious disaster! It's not just you...the spaz gene runs in the family.