Friday, February 24, 2006

Wave bye-bye to the boobies

Well, for better or worse, I've officially stopped breastfeeding this week. Miles is just shy of 10 months and he seems to have weaned himself right off of the boob. I tried a couple of times this week offering him some, but he really wasn't interested for longer than a few seconds. Perhaps that's because I discovered (after a frustrating pumping session with the pump I've borrowed and seem to have broken - it works some of the time) that only a few measly drops of milk is left in those tired sacs of nothingness that used to be my lovely breasts . . .oh, the lament over what was. . .and what will never be again.
I have a memory of being in my mom's bathroom/closet with her as a teenager while she was getting dressed. I remember looking at her saggy boobs and thinking, wow, mom didn't get very nice boobs, glad I didn't suffer that fate! . . .ohhhhh boy, you just wait missy . . .the poor woman had had 5 kids. count 'em, 5! Can you imagine having 5 freakin' kids? I just don't have the moral fiber, the fortitude to pull that off. Apparently, she did.
Anyway, I digress - back to the boob topic. Okay, so she had saggy breasts, well, now, so do I. Not such a big surprise really when you witness the gymnastic moves Miles made with my nipple in his mouth, or the constant pulling and stretching that occurred. I tried to have a sit-me-down with him about it, but the message just didn't get through. He was all over the place while feeding.
I have to admit, I'm a little sad about not having that ultra closeness with Miles now. And then again, I'm also feeling glad to be done with it. For one thing, I now get to start using that toxic anti-wrinkle cream that I bought long ago only to find out that you're not supposed to use it while breastfeeding . . .makes you wonder, doesn't it? And another thing is that I enjoy the space of not having to be responsible for Miles' sustenance. I do have a small irresponsibility streak left in me (altho totally suppressed at this stage of the parenting game) and finishing up the breastfeeding marks a small victory for that streak. Kind of makes me want to go on a crazy cosmo, shopping, dancing rampage . . .like I've just gotten back a tiny speck of my L.B.K.s (life-before-kids).
Miles doesn't seem the worse for wear . . .seems as happy as ever . . .so the mom-guilt needle is still in the green zone . . .for now.

No comments: