O.M.G., I have a job again! I can hardly type this I'm so excitetd!! What can I say, I found myself missing work . . .well, at least the idea of having a job again, I'll weigh in again a month from now . . .anyway, I quit my job almost 2 years ago (2 years?! Where did they go??) from a biotech tool company where I was a sales rep because I was a stress-case. I wanted to spend more time with Emma, who I only have with me 1/2 of the time and I felt like I wasn't seeing her enough. I was always feeling pulled in different directions and never feeling like I was doing very well at any of the things I was doing, be it parenting or working. So darling Neil made it very clear that it would be A-OK for me to quit that silly job and stay home to have more time with Emma and raise our next little munchkin (said munchkin was at that point late as I was 2 miscarriages into trying). And yes, I'm sure the double miscarriage led to my stress over working, because I had planned on quitting when I had our child and with those darned miscarriages, I kept getting farther away from that happening. The light at the end of my tunnel kept getting stamped out by the miscarriage monster.
Well, wouldn't you know it, 3 weeks after I quit my job (and my source of stress) I was pregnant! I was so happy, but it did mean that it was a little silly to start a brand new job and then have to go out not 8 months later on leave - uh, er, at least that's what I rationalized at the time. Anyway, I stopped working and lounged around during my entire pregnancy - it was GREAT! Despite the fact that we were under FULL remodel at our house and I had very few spaces to lounge around in, I would craftily carve out a spot for myself on the crowded living room couch (the only room in the house that wasn't being changed in some way .. .yet) and pass out into la-la-I'm pregnant-and-can-sleep-through-ANYTHING (including that damn jackhammer!)-land. it was so great.
Then Miles was born and I became busy busy with all that goes along with a new baby. I was really loving having the uninterrupted time with him and Emma and will always look back fondly on that time. During these first months of Miles' life, something else major happened in our life - the company Neil was working for was bought out and he was laid off. Luckily he got a 4 month severance so he took some long-wanted time off. It was so great, neither of us had a job. We got to hang out whenever we wanted, do whatever we wanted (with caveat that we were new parents) and Neil was able to finish up all those loose ends from our remodel. The other major event that occurred is that my sister-in-law let me know that she was going to be starting a company and would I like to be a part of it? Um, hullo? Would I like to be a part of it?? Let's just say that if she hadn't asked, that I would have begged her to let me be a part of what she was doing and then parked myself outside her offices until she caved. Luckily, that wasn't necessary and she asked without the drama included. Total excitement ensued and I began this new chapter of my life. Well, at least I tried - it became very obvious to me very quickly that Miles was not as excited as I was about this new venture. Every time I would try to work on my computer my little "helper" would try to bang away on my keyboard, or get into something dangerous, or just plain cry from lack of attention. Hmmmpph, this is not going to work like this . . . but I soooo badly want to do this . . so what to do?? I brouught up hiring a nanny with N, but got some definite push-back from the "official bread-winner" of the family when he correctly pointed out that most people get nannies when they're actually generating a salary. Okay, okay, small point, we're not made of money - but (like the toddler I am) I wahhhh-wahhhhh-wahhhhnt to do this!
Luckily sister-in-law to the rescue with the nanny solution. She already has Miles' cousins, her kids, with a nanny at her house, so I was able to hop on that bandwagon and I get to drop Miles there on my way into the office. AND HERE I AM. Tee hee. Working again. Have to say it's more than a little exciting. Didn't think I'd be this fired up about working again, but this is the right kind of job, as opposed to the kind that sucks the life from you, offers little personal satisfaction, and erodes your spirit . . .
oh, and how am I feeling about leaving Miles for the day? Well, I'm only into day #2, but so far, so good. It feels great to have some independece - an actual need, not just a want with me. And he's in good hands, so I feel relaxed about that. Actually, he's only a few minutes away, so when time permits, I'll go see him for lunch. All in all, I think this is going to work . . .and it came just in time because N is now traveling every week and is no longer around to keep me company. I can just see myself, sitting at home, no job, and feeling alllll alone, wondering what my next move would be. Now, I don't have to, thanks sis!