So I'll start with where we, as a family are now . . .
We now have Emma, who is 5, living with us only 1/2 of the time because I share custody of her with my X (and it is for this reason that I even debate about having a third child). Then there's Miles, who is now almost 11 months and is a pretty easy (is there such a thing?!) baby. Normally I would be quite satisfied and feel complete with 2 kids - but the fact is, I only have Emma with me 1/2 time and this means Miles is alone for 1/2 the time and always will be. I worry that he will miss having a sibling around all the time and will get lonely. I realize that there are many, many only children out there and that they are happy, well adjusted kids who have friends that help them from feeling loney - BUT, Miles will be in this limbo situation where some of the time he has his sister there and the other part of the time, he doesn't - and I feel like he will be missing out on a close sibling relationship because of this.
There are so many things to consider . ..and it's probably best just to lay out the pros and cons to make sense of them, so here I go:
- Miles will have a playmate and someone closer to his age around all the time (because if we're going to do this, let's get this show on the road soon).
- I guess on some level I'll feel less guilty about depriving him of a full family experience
- having another sweet little person around to be part of our family
- Uhhhmmm, hmmmm, uhhhhmmmm, shit, I think I've already run out of pros. Might be answering my question for myself . ..
- A LOT more work for me with 3 kids to take care of
- being PREGNANT again - gahhh, just the thought makes me want to cry
- going through all of the baby stages again - while definitely unbeleivably cute and sweet, I'm over having to constantly worry about how my little man is trying to destroy himself.
- LESS sleep
- more work, oh yeah, I think I already said that.
- Less time with my husband
- Harder to travel
- Longer to wait until: freeeeeedom.
- less attention for each kid - mommy gets diluted
So those are them, I've probably forgotten a few because I'm tired and drank some dark beer tonight. What have I forgotten? I guess the main thing is that I feel totally compelled to have this 3rd child, as if I don't have a say in the matter - I know that sounds like I'm a loon - and maybe I am - but I have this weird feeling that I'm just supposed to have this third kid - but then the other part of me says, wait a minute - another one? Are you kidding me? Are you stupid? Things are going well now, you have two wonderful kids, there's enough of you to go around and that could change with another one in the mix.
Is there anyone out there who had 2 kids and then did or didn't go for the third for whatever reason and has a comment to make - or know someone who was in this position? I feel like I want to look into this more before making my final, final decision. Once the final decision is made I'm hoping my husband will go that little snip-snip procedure so we can start enjoying some hormone-free birth control. What a fabulous day that will be! Party. on.