At least it's spring somewhere . . .

Nothing says spring like a wee chick, does it? This cute little guy is the new pet of my sister's family in Idaho. Makes me want to start planning that Easter egg hunt . . .
He wouldn't want to be living around here these days, nothing but cold, rain, and more cold. I've had it! I'm going on strike - not really, but this guy is - too funny! Poor schmuck.

You want some of this?!!!

This is a post about events past - but it was just so friggin' hi-larious, I had to get it down in print. . .

One night, not too long ago my daughter was transformed into a character from the Sopranos - and I don't mean one of the nice characters like Meadow or Dr. Malfi, no, I mean like Tony, the mobster. Here's what happened: I was getting Emma ready for bed and had her all cozy in her bed, pj's on and story picked out when in walks my hubby to say goodnight. He came over to her bed, gave her a peck on the cheek, said his goodnights and started heading for the door. Emma, ever the one for procrastination when it comes to bedtime, jumped out of bed and glommed on to N's leg with fervent passion and said,
"Nooooo, you can't leave!!!"
And here's where N went wrong (although if he hadn't, I would have never witnessed this behavior in my child), he turned around, grabbed a pillow off the ground and yelled,
"pillow fight!!" and smacked Emma in the head.
She didn't miss a beat, started laughing her head off and ran to her bed for a pillow to retaliate.
"Pillow fight, pillow fight, pillow fight!, she screamed."
Emma had just won the friggin' lottery - Pappi was here to play. Gawd, I rolled my eyes - bedtime just got shot to shit because she's going to be all amped up for hours now. Oh well, might as well enjoy the show. And here's where it got totally hilarious - Emma takes her pillow, holds it up over her head, aims it at Pappi and says,
"You want this? You want a piece of this? Huh?" whack!
N and I look at each other, stunned, and just burst out laughing. Oh. my. god. When did my daughter turn into a NYC mobster?? Where on earth did she learn that line?? (surely NOT at my house, ha ha).
Probably because of the fact that N and I started laughing so hard she continued on with the act,
"You want this? You really want this?" Wham! Whap! Bang!
And it went on and on . . .soooo funny, we were just dying. She was in a zone, channeling Tony Soprano. Emma never ceases to amaze me and I don't know where she gets her material. We used to watch the Sopranos religiously - but I swear, the door was closed and she WAS asleep . . .wasn't she?

Question still rattling around in my head . . .

A little while back I wrote a post about the debate I was having with myself (and my husband, of course) over whether or not have a third child. Well, just when I think I have this all sorted out in my head, I find myself changing my mind again. So internet, please go through this argument with me and give me some needed feedback . .. I'm curious about the decisions that other people have made regarding this question and how you came to that decision. I read this and this found them hilarious and a bit scary - and would love to hear more stories.
So I'll start with where we, as a family are now . . .
The situation:
We now have Emma, who is 5, living with us only 1/2 of the time because I share custody of her with my X (and it is for this reason that I even debate about having a third child). Then there's Miles, who is now almost 11 months and is a pretty easy (is there such a thing?!) baby. Normally I would be quite satisfied and feel complete with 2 kids - but the fact is, I only have Emma with me 1/2 time and this means Miles is alone for 1/2 the time and always will be. I worry that he will miss having a sibling around all the time and will get lonely. I realize that there are many, many only children out there and that they are happy, well adjusted kids who have friends that help them from feeling loney - BUT, Miles will be in this limbo situation where some of the time he has his sister there and the other part of the time, he doesn't - and I feel like he will be missing out on a close sibling relationship because of this.
There are so many things to consider . ..and it's probably best just to lay out the pros and cons to make sense of them, so here I go:
Pro's:

• Miles will have a playmate and someone closer to his age around all the time (because if we're going to do this, let's get this show on the road soon).
• I guess on some level I'll feel less guilty about depriving him of a full family experience
• having another sweet little person around to be part of our family
• Uhhhmmm, hmmmm, uhhhhmmmm, shit, I think I've already run out of pros. Might be answering my question for myself . ..

Cons:

• A LOT more work for me with 3 kids to take care of
• being PREGNANT again - gahhh, just the thought makes me want to cry
• going through all of the baby stages again - while definitely unbeleivably cute and sweet, I'm over having to constantly worry about how my little man is trying to destroy himself.
• LESS sleep
• more work, oh yeah, I think I already said that.
• Less time with my husband
• Harder to travel
• Longer to wait until: freeeeeedom.
• less attention for each kid - mommy gets diluted

So those are them, I've probably forgotten a few because I'm tired and drank some dark beer tonight. What have I forgotten? I guess the main thing is that I feel totally compelled to have this 3rd child, as if I don't have a say in the matter - I know that sounds like I'm a loon - and maybe I am - but I have this weird feeling that I'm just supposed to have this third kid - but then the other part of me says, wait a minute - another one? Are you kidding me? Are you stupid? Things are going well now, you have two wonderful kids, there's enough of you to go around and that could change with another one in the mix.

Is there anyone out there who had 2 kids and then did or didn't go for the third for whatever reason and has a comment to make - or know someone who was in this position? I feel like I want to look into this more before making my final, final decision. Once the final decision is made I'm hoping my husband will go that little snip-snip procedure so we can start enjoying some hormone-free birth control. What a fabulous day that will be! Party. on.

Template changes

I know, I know, I can't make up my mind which template to use . . .the problem is that I don't really like any of the Blogger templates - I want something more customized, but don't know the html to work it. Oh well, back to the dots for now . . .

Miles' Favorite things right now

1. pointing - at everything and everyone.
2. climbing the stairs, with a periodic pause to turn and point at you - too cute!
3. saying: "ahh-dat!" - those words will have to wait . . .
4. spinning 360's on his butt
5. playing with the fridge magnets
6. clapping along to music (I think those music classes paid off!)
7. waving at the Teletubbie baby and Big Bird
8. learning to walk with my helper
9. eating my last meal's leftovers off of the floor - ewwwww
10. throwing stuff into mommy and pappi's bathtub

My daughter's reaction to "study time"

So recently my daughter's kindergarten teacher let my X and I know that she was "progressing very slowly" and that she may have to repeat K if she didn't start improving her math and reading skills . . .REPEAT Kindergarten - hello? Who knew that when kids leave K now they need to know a slew of words, how to read simple books and count to 100?? My goodness, I don't think I knew how to do any of those things at that age - but whatever, I know how important it is that we compete with Japan and Europe . . .NOT. An-nee-way, so lil' Emmers needs to pull it together sister and hop on the scholastic bandwagon. This revelation has not gone over all that well with my little princess-tiara-wielding-free-spirit artist. She's none too pleased with the crack down on the books. And this was her reaction the other day when I asked her, yet again to please concentrate on the letters we were reviewing:
"Mommy, talk to the bootie, cuz the hand's off duty!" Wha - wha - whaaaaat did you say???? OMG, I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk. Are you kidding me? Where did you learn that?! Rhetorical - she learns all slang and sass from her aunt Kiki (aka: Katie, my X's 20-something sister).
"I learned it from Ki-ki!" she said gleefully, looking very smug indeed. Oh dear, we do have some work ahead of us in the teenage years, don't we? If anyone has forgotten - Emma is 5 - yes 5! Not sure WHAT 13 is going to look like, but I. AM. SCARED.

Missing Miles

I miss Miles. Even though I'm only working part time, I still miss him. It takes some getting used to, this getting back to work thing. Today I went back to the house to see him on a break and I swear, he looked bigger to me. And his cousin has yet another tooth! Am I going to start missing little and/or big details in his life now? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Luckily I do have the option of seeing him when I want to, so it's not like a tragic situation. But I wonder sometimes what I'm missing. And I miss spending time with him. Funny, because on the one hand I'm loving the fact that I have time to myself to pursue a job and a life outside of being a mommy - but I'm also feeling like I want to spend more time with him. And actually, this is probably one of the positive effects of having a job - it reminds me that just hanging out with my kids is a great thing. Not that I didn't think that before, but now I appreciate it more - and that's always a good thing. I really think the more kids are appreciated, the happier they are as people. And that doesn't mean kissing their little butts, it just means genuinely wanting to spend time with them and being present when you do.
I'll drink to that . . .a green beer, to be specific . ..one of the perks of that job is happy hour with the gang . . .teee heee....

A tooth, a tooth!

After all of those months of me claiming that Miles was teething, he now actually has a tooth coming in! The strange thing? It's his fang tooth, to the left of where his front teeth will be . .. hmmm, does this mean anything I wonder?? Miles, a vampire?
He does like to gnaw on my chin . . .

The list

I have a list on my fridge that reminds me to buy things I need, and today it should read: PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE. Pull. it. together. woman. Just because you're late for Emma's piano lesson and she won't let you brush her hair and Miles is crying and not yet dressed and you realize you've forgotten to make her lunch as you finally get the whole mess out into the car . . . remember - keep.it.together. Don't lose your shit.
Where in the f#W@%k is that Mary Poppins woman?! I need herrrrrrrr. It's days like today that really make me question my ability to be a good mother. I get flustered so easily sometimes.
Luckily it doesn't last long - I was back to my normal self once we were all loaded up into the car, on our way. Good going, Sybil. But really, I shouldn't let those things bother me . . .if I'm going to be doing this for the next 20 years . ..20? O.M.G. Third kid? Don't ask me today.

Sweet lightning and other storm stories

There we were, the 3 of us, Emma, Neil and myself (Miles was already sawing logs as it was long past bedtime), laying on Emma's floor eagerly waiting for the next flash and crash of thunder. "I saw that one, I saw that one!", Emma would scream each time. It was such a sweet moment, lying there on her carpet with blankets and pillows, staring out the windows of her balcony doors, waiting and waiting. We were all cozy on a cold wintry night. Exhausted, Neil promptly fell asleep. I almost did, but was jolted awake every few minutes or so when Emma would yell with the lightning strikes. How does he sleep through that? Emma was way too excited to sleep, both from the storm and the fact that her parents were actually asleep on her floor. She couldn't believe her luck.
We've had all kinds of crazy weather around here lately - hail, thunder storms and snow, yes snow! There was a picture in the paper of icy frost-like snow on the beach - wow, now I can't remember that happening since I was 5!
Yesterday we went with Emma and Miles' cousins up to the mountains to see that snow. Not a ton left, but enough to make snowballs to throw at Pappi and uncle. Love the way they always aim for the guys! Today we're going back for more fun - hopefully we'll find a bit more this time since I noticed they closed the highway this morning. Wow, we can't get out of here right now . . .luckily it's Sunday and there's no where to go but out to play.

Back to work, mommy and hail to the nannies!

O.M.G., I have a job again! I can hardly type this I'm so excitetd!! What can I say, I found myself missing work . . .well, at least the idea of having a job again, I'll weigh in again a month from now . . .anyway, I quit my job almost 2 years ago (2 years?! Where did they go??) from a biotech tool company where I was a sales rep because I was a stress-case. I wanted to spend more time with Emma, who I only have with me 1/2 of the time and I felt like I wasn't seeing her enough. I was always feeling pulled in different directions and never feeling like I was doing very well at any of the things I was doing, be it parenting or working. So darling Neil made it very clear that it would be A-OK for me to quit that silly job and stay home to have more time with Emma and raise our next little munchkin (said munchkin was at that point late as I was 2 miscarriages into trying). And yes, I'm sure the double miscarriage led to my stress over working, because I had planned on quitting when I had our child and with those darned miscarriages, I kept getting farther away from that happening. The light at the end of my tunnel kept getting stamped out by the miscarriage monster.
Well, wouldn't you know it, 3 weeks after I quit my job (and my source of stress) I was pregnant! I was so happy, but it did mean that it was a little silly to start a brand new job and then have to go out not 8 months later on leave - uh, er, at least that's what I rationalized at the time. Anyway, I stopped working and lounged around during my entire pregnancy - it was GREAT! Despite the fact that we were under FULL remodel at our house and I had very few spaces to lounge around in, I would craftily carve out a spot for myself on the crowded living room couch (the only room in the house that wasn't being changed in some way .. .yet) and pass out into la-la-I'm pregnant-and-can-sleep-through-ANYTHING (including that damn jackhammer!)-land. it was so great.
Then Miles was born and I became busy busy with all that goes along with a new baby. I was really loving having the uninterrupted time with him and Emma and will always look back fondly on that time. During these first months of Miles' life, something else major happened in our life - the company Neil was working for was bought out and he was laid off. Luckily he got a 4 month severance so he took some long-wanted time off. It was so great, neither of us had a job. We got to hang out whenever we wanted, do whatever we wanted (with caveat that we were new parents) and Neil was able to finish up all those loose ends from our remodel. The other major event that occurred is that my sister-in-law let me know that she was going to be starting a company and would I like to be a part of it? Um, hullo? Would I like to be a part of it?? Let's just say that if she hadn't asked, that I would have begged her to let me be a part of what she was doing and then parked myself outside her offices until she caved. Luckily, that wasn't necessary and she asked without the drama included. Total excitement ensued and I began this new chapter of my life. Well, at least I tried - it became very obvious to me very quickly that Miles was not as excited as I was about this new venture. Every time I would try to work on my computer my little "helper" would try to bang away on my keyboard, or get into something dangerous, or just plain cry from lack of attention. Hmmmpph, this is not going to work like this . . . but I soooo badly want to do this . . so what to do?? I brouught up hiring a nanny with N, but got some definite push-back from the "official bread-winner" of the family when he correctly pointed out that most people get nannies when they're actually generating a salary. Okay, okay, small point, we're not made of money - but (like the toddler I am) I wahhhh-wahhhhh-wahhhhnt to do this!
Luckily sister-in-law to the rescue with the nanny solution. She already has Miles' cousins, her kids, with a nanny at her house, so I was able to hop on that bandwagon and I get to drop Miles there on my way into the office. AND HERE I AM. Tee hee. Working again. Have to say it's more than a little exciting. Didn't think I'd be this fired up about working again, but this is the right kind of job, as opposed to the kind that sucks the life from you, offers little personal satisfaction, and erodes your spirit . . .
oh, and how am I feeling about leaving Miles for the day? Well, I'm only into day #2, but so far, so good. It feels great to have some independece - an actual need, not just a want with me. And he's in good hands, so I feel relaxed about that. Actually, he's only a few minutes away, so when time permits, I'll go see him for lunch. All in all, I think this is going to work . . .and it came just in time because N is now traveling every week and is no longer around to keep me company. I can just see myself, sitting at home, no job, and feeling alllll alone, wondering what my next move would be. Now, I don't have to, thanks sis!

I can sew . . .I think

The other night my dear friend Karen (giver of name, Mimi) was kind enough to come over and hang out with me and the kids. She kept us company AND taught my lame self to sew Miles' curtains that I've been meaning to finish for oh, say a year now. She is the bomb - not only does she sew, but is a wonderful cook, an expert knitter (see cute sweaters on emma and miles), brilliant science-gal and Emma loves her to no end (big surprise). The last time she was at our house Emma talked her into letting her sleep with her . . .but on this visit, she was satisfied with merely monopolizing her time. Emma kept thinking of reasons to lure Karen to her room for more one-on-one time, very cute.
An-nee-way, I've been really lame about trying out that sewing machine that Neil gave me for mother's day last year (how fitting) so I finally decided to get the lead out and get this project finished. I can't look at Miles' empty window anymore . . .
so Karen did the first one and last night, all alone after Miles went to bed, glass of wine in hand, music drifting from the ipod, I busted out 2 more. I was SO proud of myself! Wow, I sewed something and it didn't come out like complete crap - maybe just a little crooked here and there.
Thank you Karen, you've facilitated another mommy milestone. Perhaps I'll make some clothes for my little clothes horse now . . . and then again, maybe that'll just have to wait until next year.

Fun and games with Pappi

When Emma was very young and Neil and I were first together, it occurred to me that he was a whoe lot better than me at inventing fun games that amused Emma to no end. Case in point is Neil's invention of the "party hats!" game. The game goes like this - you put something silly on your head and scream "party hat!" and make everyone around you wear one too and laugh, laugh, laugh. It's amazing how the littlest things can be a source of amusement.
One evening when Emma was little we were having a family dinner at our house and Emma persauded everyone to wear a diaper on their head - it was so funny! All the adults, sitting their at our table with diapers on - where was my camera then??
Neil is so great at coming up with these games but I'm going to have to step it up because he's out of town again for 4 days. Hmmph. I knew he was going to have to travel for work with this new job, but the reality of it stinks. I miss him and I miss having his funny antics around the house with the kids.

Another wake up call at 3:30 am . . .

Arrgggh, is that really necessary Miles? Well, yes, it turns out it is. I took Miles to the doc this morning to check and see if his ear infection had cleared up after taking a week of antibiotics - it's just not that normal for him to wake in the middle of the night screaming. Anyway, turns out he's got fluid in his ears still - and the worst part about it? There's nothing to be done! After giving that grim prognosis the doctor casually said, "oh, and he's probably not hearing anything right now because of the fluid."
What?! OMG, that's terrible! Poor guy is looking at all of us move our mouths but only hearing little snipets or muffled tones. And she was clear, "there's really nothing you can do about it, you just have to wait for mother nature to clear it up. Come back in a month and we'll check it again."
A month?? That doesn't seem like a good idea - how about a week? And if it's still there you perscribe stronger antibiotics since the first round clearly didn't work? Hmmph. Not pleased with that outcome.
I asked about using an antihistamine, but she said they don't work. Hmmm? I wonder if I should believe that or go ahead and try them anyway. Sudafed was recommended to me before for clearing up fluid in my ears - why wouldn't it work for Miles?
Anyway, for now I've made an appointment for a month from now and am hoping that Miles' little ears get better.

Oh, and did I mention . . .

That I also play the piano? Just a little something I've been working on . . .Wi-ley Coyote, Genius.

Our latest tricks and fave passtimes . . .

Oh to be 10 months . . .the world, your oyster . . .here's what Miles has been up to lately . . .according to him . . .

1. "I'm gonna getcha!" game . . .mommy chases me down the hall, giggling all the way. When she catches me it's all kisses and more giggles!
2. Crawl away from mommy, stop, turn and point at her and smile my biggest smile - I'm so talented!, repeat, repeat, repeat . ..
3. Look at mommy through the washing machine door .. .ooooh, she looks so weird, that makes me giggle again.
4. Crawl into sister's room: dismantle.
5. Attack sister while she's eating and try to steal her food.
6. Cry when I don't get my way, I'm bored, you take something away from me (albeit dangerous), I fall and bump my head (again), I can't get into something/somewhere, oh, just about whenever I GD feel like it.
7. Stick anything and everything into my mouth
8. Stand up and lean on anything that will support me and fall when it doesn't (good practice of #6).
9. Slapping my hands on said object once I'm standing in front of it - I'm so talented! (again).
10. Stealthy stair climber: I wait until my mom turns her back and then bolt for those stairs! Today I managed to climb all the way up the outside stairs in the back yard since they haven't gotten smart enough to install a gate yet .. .fools.
11. Do the side-step shuffle - I WILL walk!